NO QUIERO HABLAR AL RESPECTO…
Por Francis Berti
No quiero hablar al respecto. No puedo hablar al respecto. No merezco hablar al respecto. Mi sempiterna escuálida y sin trazo fino, torpe, y a los tumbos por las heridas que no sangran, se golpean sin querer queriendo, pero, no quiero hablar al respecto de huesos troquelados. El problema con el silencio absoluto no es que el mundo se calle. El problema es que el mundo exterior se vuelve ruido puro y el silencio se traslada donde comienza a ejercer una presión física.
Las heridas que no sangran son las peores. No son un hecho visible que el mundo pueda puntuare; son una negación interna que se resuelve en golpes sordos. Cada vez que mi sempiterna (ese residuo de lo que fui antes de la censura) intentaba buscar el trazo fino de una palabra, tropezaba con los huesos troquelados. Los troqueles eran las marcas de las decisiones irreversibles. No eran cicatrices de corte, sino marcas de prensa; la forma exacta y simétrica de un error que fue aplastado en mi estructura, dejando un patrón frío y repetitivo.
Y por eso, el silencio era la única defensa lógica. Si no hablaba, no validaba la existencia de las heridas. Me senté en el suelo. El suelo no era un alivio; era solo el punto de contacto entre mi cuerpo marcado y la indiferencia de la realidad. Mis manos se cerraron. No en puños, sino en cámaras de vacío. Estaban conteniendo el impulso de querer querer. Pero el mundo, con su ruido obstinado, se negaba a respetar mi cuarentena emocional.
Los sonidos de la calle, antes simples ruidos, ahora se traducían en mi mente como preguntas acusatorias. El claxon de un coche era: ¿Por qué te detuviste?. La risa de un niño era: ¿Y dónde está el trazo fino de tu alegría? Sentí la necesidad urgente de transferir la presión, de liberar ese silencio condensado antes de que troquelara un hueso más. Si no podía hablar, tenía que recurrir a la semántica no verbal.
Busqué a mi alrededor. La única cosa disponible, la única que parecía prometer una honestidad comparable a la del hueso marcado, era una copa de cristal olvidada sobre una mesa baja. Era frágil, transparente y completamente indecisa en su forma. Mi intención fue clara, aunque no verbalizada: Romperla.
No con ira, sino con precisión. Quería que el sonido del cristal al quebrarse fuera la articulación exacta de mi negación. El sonido del cristal, al menos, sería una herida que sí sangra en el aire. Extendí mi mano torpe hacia la copa. Mi sempiterna, a los tumbos, sabía que este era el único modo de evitar el troquelado final.
No quiero hablar al respecto. Ese momento de posible distensión entre el ruido y el silencio, movido por el análisis y enfoque en esa copa de cristal olvidada sobre una mesa baja, al dispersar el calor interno, señala sin proponérselo un ajuste , en donde el sonido del cristal al quebrarse fuera la articulación exacta de mi negación.Logrando el objetivo del quiebre del cristal, era el único modo de evitar el troquelado final., simplificando esta perspectiva final como una evidencia que la matiza. Interesante reflexión. Saludos.
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